Raking the Muck

I am reborn

2009-01-12T20:00:00.003-06:00

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Bye-bye Blogspot

2008-12-31T14:02:00.005-06:00

This will be my last Blogger post. What a long strange trip it's been, blah blah blah.

No, I'm not quitting the world of "web-logging" but rather Raking the Muck will be re-born to (at?) another blogging facilitator in the near future—probably Wordpress. Hey if 2008 has taught us anything it's that Change®™ is good and besides I've tinkered with my Blogger template beyond any reasonable hope of recovery or repair.

I'm not going to close down the ol' Blogspot completely though. I mean who knows when an interview with a hat or a review of Rags to Riches may come in handy?

I've used the word "Blog" too much in this post so I'm going to stop now.

P.S. This turns 10 on January 12 and time does it's terrible dance.

"The Future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is."
-C.S. Lewis

Wishing you the Swayziest of Yuletide seasons

2008-12-22T12:00:00.000-06:00

You didn't ask for it...

2008-12-13T00:12:00.010-06:00

...but here it is anyway: my 2008 Christmas wishlist.

I'd also like to highlight a few items from the fantastic online retailer Think Geek. Basically everything they sell is awesome but here are some standouts:

The 8-bit Tie

This is pretty self-explanatory. Hopefully in order wear one you aren't required to be a frumpy looking emo kid.

Tiny R/C Hovercraft

You can never have too many RC toys.

How to Survive a Robot Uprising

Practical and timely.

Everything Must Change

Just kidding!

Killer Rabbit Slippers

Who needs a girlfriend?

LED Faucet Lights

Wonderfully, sublimely pointless!

And finally:

Blogging Poster

Why can't we do both?

2008-12-10T15:22:00.002-06:00

You decide

2008-12-08T15:39:00.004-06:00

Marginally insane MN DFL state rep Phyllis Kahn or Woody Allen?

Marginally insane filmmaker Woody Allen or Phyllis Kahn?

Paul Reiser...

2008-12-06T20:37:00.002-06:00

...wishes you and yours the happiest of Holidays!

Niels Bohr must be spinning in his grave

2008-12-05T17:18:00.007-06:00

Now I got a "D" (barely) in chemistry so I'm by no means the most knowledgeable on the subject but even I have my doubts about this supposed inventor of the "mole" unit. The mole, of course, is a term used by chemists to describe "a unit of amount of molecular substance" (whatever the hell that means). According to Wikipedia however the first to coin this term is, well, take a look.

"Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject. So you know you are getting the best possible information."
Michael Scott

Niels Bohr says: "Why God? Why?"

Ed. Note: I guess somebody corrected the above entry. Thank goodness for that. Chemistry is already wild and crazy enough as it is!

I wish I had made this

2008-11-26T20:32:00.000-06:00

Most impressive

2008-11-21T15:30:00.000-06:00

Created by OnePlusYou - Free Online Dating

You can't X out your vote

2008-11-20T22:16:00.004-06:00

Apparently this is one of the ballots Al Franken is contesting.

Whoever filled this out is obviously barely sentient and thus probably shouldn't be allowed to vote in the first place but either way you can't "X out" a vote. This isn't 4th grade math homework, if you made the circle next to Coleman's name darker than the other circles that is a vote for Coleman. If that's a problem just request a new ballot and write in Chris Kattan or something.

Sox pride!

2008-11-19T10:17:00.002-06:00

You're not helping your case here Barack.

"Guards Chin"

2008-11-10T12:36:00.004-06:00

Let's talk anagrams! If you don't know what they are go here to find out and even make some of your own.

My favorite for my name is "Guards Chin." This makes sense because if nothing else I've always wanted people to see me as a person who takes protection of the lower front mandible very seriously.

Post some of your favorites in the comments and we'll all laugh and cry together.

Obama where art thou

2008-11-05T01:39:00.003-06:00

Here are my late night post election thoughts:

1. Presidential campaigns go on way, way, way too long. I don't care what party or candidate you support it is simply not healthy to spend 2-3 years agonizing over who will be the next President.

2. I'm glad I will no longer be saturated with moronic campaign ads (for another year anyway).

3. It's becoming increasingly clear that what divides our country is not merely a matter of policy or party but distinctive worldview and ideological differences. That said I think it's completely unrealistic to think the majority of our elected officials can work together in any meaningful way. McCain's gracious concession speech and Obama's lofty victory speech with all their platitudes may sound nice, but the American left and right are by and large too polarized to find any common ground. The secular left and the Judeo-Christian right (what's left of it) are from different planets and will never come together—nor should they. I think if people on both sides were honest they'd agree with me. One side must be wrong and one side must be right. Take your pick.

4. While I'm sure this will be terribly difficult, I'm going to do my absolute damndest to do exactly what the Left of this country did not do for the majority of the last 8 years—extend courtesy to the President of the United States even if I didn't vote for or agree with him. I'm not much of a George W. Bush fan but the venom, vitriol and disrespect shown to this man has been without comparison. You will not find the equivalent of a "Buck Fush" bumper sticker on the back of my car ("Ouck Fbama?"). You will not hear me make asinine statements like "He's not my President." There is nothing wrong with critique or even a little sarcastic mockery but the kind of attitude outlined above does far more damage to the American political system than somebody's bad policy.

This exists!?!?

2008-10-10T12:55:00.006-05:00

Ladies and gentlemen I present to you the Axolatl.

No this is not a Pokemon, a Puckmarin or one of the lesser Muppet characters but a living, breathing (sort of) creature!

I mean look at that thing—an Axolatl! It's smiling at us! It has fingers! Run for your lives it's an Axolatl! Forget that Cloverfield monster— imagine a mutated, amphibious version of one these things crawling up onto your bed as you sleep.

I must have been home sick the day they taught about this guy in 8th grade science. I'm glad because it probably would have haunted my dreams throughout high school.

A $200 stump

2008-10-08T16:24:00.001-05:00

How bad is the economy really?

Rage/Morello follow up

2008-09-11T12:14:00.004-05:00

Please watch this vital and very important video:

Yes nothing says "those capitalist pigs must pay for their crimes" like donning a mo-cap suit and being scanned into "Guitar Hero III."

He says he's a fan of the movie "Crossroads". I assume he's not talking about this but it actually wouldn't surprise me if he was.

Will's new job (it's OK but it's mostly data entry)

2008-09-05T15:23:00.001-05:00

Will's new job (it's OK but it's mostly data entry)
Originally uploaded by darthvedder81

Rage at the RNC!

2008-09-05T13:43:00.005-05:00

It's good too see "Rage Against the Machine" getting work again and it's always nice to know what bands who haven't been relevant in 12 years (or ever, really) think about politics. I understand Dishwalla is set to weigh in on energy policy!

You really have to hand it to those RATM lads though, convincing so many suburban white kids that capitalism is evil even as those same kids buy their CD's and T-shirts and spend $100 to see Rage live at the Target®™ Center.

And one things for sure, Tom Morello is better at making guitar noises with his mouth than actually playing the guitar.

The anarchists don't want their picture taken

2008-09-03T17:27:00.001-05:00

Anarchists Don't Smile
Originally uploaded by Neal Reiter

Apparently even in an anarchist utopia there are certain rules. Who knew?

A voter's guide

2008-08-22T11:18:00.007-05:00

With the election a scant 10 weeks away I've compiled this helpful voter's guide to highlight some of the differences between the two Presidential candidates:

General platform:

McCain: In favor of a strong national defense, border security and campaign finance reform.
Obama: In favor of puppies, kittens and happy thoughts.

Energy:

McCain: Offshore drilling.
Obama: Monkeys on stationary bicycles.

Abortion:

McCain: Terrorists should die not babies.
Obama: Above his "pay-grade."

War on Terrorism/Al-Qaeda:

McCain: Terrorists should die not babies.
Obama: Huh?

On the existence of evil:

McCain: Evil exists. Terrorists should die.
Obama: I personally believe that such as the Iraq and the South African countries such as everywhere like such as for our children.

Economy:

McCain: Lower overall tax rates, curb spending, free trade.
Obama: It's fun to give away other people's money.

Celebrity endorsements:

Obama: Kevin Spacey, Halle Berry, Will Smith, Jada Pinkett-Smith, Ellen Degeneres, Susan Sarandon, Scarlett Johannson, Alan Alda, Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks, Natalie Portman, Harrison Ford, George Lucas, Matt Damon, George Clooney, Oprah Winfrey, Robert DeNiro, Jay Leno, Ben Affleck.
McCain: That guy who played Scott Baio's buddy on Charles in Charge.

Maybe they should check with John Lithgow

2008-08-15T11:43:00.003-05:00

Two Georgians Say They Have Bigfoot's Body

Both Mr. Biscardi and Mr. Dyer said they expected skeptics to discount the find, which is being kept in a freezer in an undisclosed location outside Atlanta.

This is the problem I have with all these alleged sightings and findings. Why has this been taken to an "undisclosed location"? I don't know about you but if I captured a Bigfoot or an alien or a leprechaun I'd be parading it's carcass up and down Lyndale Avenue trying to get everybody's attention. I'm really sorry but when all you give me are poorly lit photos, grainy video and vague anecdotal descriptions I have a hard time believing you.

Some constructive criticism

2008-08-13T11:49:00.003-05:00

As the political season begins to heat up I'd like to take this opportunity to offer a few critiques/observations:

With the conventions in Denver and St.Paul just around the corner a lot has been made of the impending anti-war demonstrations that will inevitably take place. Apparently some of these protest groups are upset they won't be "within range" of the RNC so as to be heard. This is a common misunderstanding about what the right to protest and free speech mean. Free speech does not mean I'm required to listen to what you are saying. Nor does it mean the government is required to accommodate you so that everyone everywhere can hear what you have to say. By all means demonstrate just don't think you have the right to disturb the peace, block traffic or otherwise impede the flow of daily living in an effort to get your message out.
Can we please stop with the political TV commercials? The only thing more annoying than the ads themselves are when one side (usually the Dems) tries to claim the other side is "using negative attack ads." You both do the same thing so spare me the pity party. My biggest problem is that these ads don't ever engage the candidates on ideas. Norm Coleman has one out here were he spends 45 seconds going after Al Franken for tax evasion and anti-union rhetoric. Franken is guilty of some hypocritical positions to be sure but you're telling me you can't engage the writer of some especially terrible SNL skits in the marketplace of ideas?
Whoever wins the white house I would hope those who didn't vote for the new president won't resort to the kind of childish behavior we've seen with opponents of the current commander-in-chief. Statements like "he's not my president" really need to stop. Oh and if your guy loses take the stupid bumper sticker off your car. Actually how about not putting a bumper sticker on your car in the first place (nothing looks stupider than a bumper sticker). It used to be the way in this country that if "your guy" didn't win the election you still had enough respect for the office to at least marginally support your leaders. If Obama wins I'd be disappointed and not very optimistic but you better believe I'll be rooting for him to make the right decisions.
Putting too much faith in politicians is incredibly silly. Obama will not save you. Neither will McCain. We live in the richest, freest country in the history of the world. Most of your everyday problems will not be affected one way or the other by the people you elect. This might sound pessimistic or apathetic but it's actually very much in line with the attitude the founders of our country had towards the government. It's still important to participate in the democratic process just don't put too much stock in what any one government, president or congressman can do. Freedom is bestowed to us by God not man.

Bears looking pensively off to the distance

2008-08-07T10:59:00.002-05:00

Found this on Brian McLaren's blog. Hey I love all of God's creatures too but the juxtaposition of Bruce Cockburn's bad falsetto voice and stock photos of sad looking mice and snakes (who would normally get along so well if it weren't for us evil humans) is just too goofy:

Hey look!

2008-08-02T03:20:00.001-05:00

A Minnesota news source that's not completely horrible!

MinnPost.com

Not surprised

2008-07-29T15:11:00.004-05:00

Volunteering in America has just released a report unveiling the most generous cities and states in the nation:

Top 5 Most Charitiable U.S. Cities and States

I don't see California or New York anywhere on the list. Just one more reason the electoral college is the greatest invention of our founding fathers!

Yoda & Me

2008-07-19T14:40:00.001-05:00

Yoda & Me
Originally uploaded by darthvedder81

Attention Everyone!

2008-07-16T01:19:00.003-05:00

This is just a friendly reminder that all human beings everywhere are required by Movie Law™ to go see The Dark Knight this Friday July 18. If you have not seen or have tickets to see the latest Batman installment by Saturday July 19 12:01 am EST please be aware that roaming bands of Warner Bros. stormtroopers may invade your home and force repeated viewings of Batman & Robin upon you.

You are also required to watch the film in rapt silence, taking completely seriously the tragic and real-world story of a man in a batsuit who fights a clown with gadgets.

Baby wants the iPhone

2008-07-09T16:17:00.001-05:00

Baby wants the iPhone
Originally uploaded by darthvedder81

From the back of my Lean Cuisine

2008-07-08T15:58:00.003-05:00

This is just good advice and a big improvement over my previous method of inhaling all of my meals off a 1982 Lincoln Continental hubcap in 7.65 seconds while hanging upside-down.

Not bad

2008-07-02T17:14:00.000-05:00

OnePlusYou Quizzes and Widgets

In case you weren't sure

2008-07-01T14:45:00.002-05:00

Brad Arnold, the lead singer of southern rock group 3 Doors Down would like to remind you that he does indeed own a sword.

Man oh man do I hate them fancy lads!

2008-06-23T13:28:00.001-05:00

200? Amateur.

2008-06-20T12:42:00.000-05:00

Stuff White People Like: Bumper Stickers

2008-06-12T15:55:00.002-05:00

"As of February 2008, white law requires an Obama 08 bumper sticker to be placed on the back of every Prius."

The Time Machine Did It

2008-06-07T01:28:00.002-05:00

Some excerpts from the greatest "Simpsons" writer ever—John Swartzwelder's hilarious book "The Time Machine Did It":

They beat me for a little longer, then tried out various truth serums on me. "Which truth serum tastes better?" asked one.

"It's hard to say," I said. "They're both so awful. This one, I guess."

"He's lying, Lieutenant."

They worked me over a little longer—trying out various brands of tear gas and suspect kicking boots on me—you can't beat that kind of "in the field" testing—then they spent a half hour pushing me off the tops of file cabinets. I don't know what that was about.

••••••••••

I woke up the next morning cold and cramped. The room, as advertised, was a miracle of understatement. No heat, no lights, no blankets, no bed, just me. I washed my face in some snow that had drifted in through the window, and dried it on a handy rodent.

•••••••••••

I took a walk around town. It was like I was living in a history book. A stinking history book. I never did like history when I was in school, and this wasn't increasing my fondness for the subject. History is over, I've always felt, let's move on.

Christian Bale

2008-06-05T13:14:00.004-05:00

...would like to remind you that he is, in fact, the greatest actor of his generation. Every film he stars in is supremely entertaining and his performances are invariably transcendent and nuanced.

Christian Bale would also like you to pay no attention to this.

That's a bad touch Superman (at 0:32)

2008-06-04T13:23:00.001-05:00

Just think: if this is what was deleted from Superman IV the rest must have been pure movie magic!

More fun with stock photography

2008-05-29T11:09:00.003-05:00

"As painful as the experience was, Tommy had to admit
that his freakishly over-sized ears made for easy gripping."

Fun with stock photography

2008-05-28T14:23:00.003-05:00

"The Hendersons watch The Crying Game."

As long as you're up...

2008-05-23T22:59:00.003-05:00

...would you also slap me?

Thanks. A friend always,

Paul Dano

Because Mee-Shell's smilin'

2008-05-16T16:01:00.001-05:00

"Wear this t-shirt for free admission to the Smash Club."

Yes this is happening

2008-05-08T13:27:00.001-05:00

I'm still angry about "Hamster Dance: The Movie" falling through the cracks over at Paramount (apparently Jake Gyllenhaal backed out at the last minute!).

I too need to be slapped

2008-05-07T17:19:00.001-05:00

Please slap me

2008-05-07T14:58:00.003-05:00

So he'll babysit your kids for you?

2008-05-05T12:21:00.003-05:00

From Obama's education page:

Affordable, High-Quality Child Care: Obama will also provide affordable and high-quality child care to ease the burden on working families.

I see this as a positive development—a politician with a real job!

Landed on his bonnet?

2008-05-02T12:02:00.003-05:00

What interests me about this story is not the obvious weirdness of a chunky woman soaring above the mountains of Nuevo Leon (it seems like the Mexicans are always encountering flying objects, or Chupacabras or evil little gnomes, etc.)

No, what caught my attention was this:

And policeman Leonardo Samaniego also claimed a floating person had dropped out of the sky and landed on his bonnet.

PJ and I

2008-04-29T21:42:00.000-05:00

How to win the war on Global Warming

2008-04-28T22:32:00.001-05:00

We could stop buying Time magazine for starters.

As long as 2 million people are pre-ordering "Grand Theft Auto" I'm not going to worry about the economy

2008-04-28T12:32:00.004-05:00

The New York Times—that most hallowed of all the bird-cage liners—recently published a story on our sagging economy and how people are cutting costs buy adjusting their diets and buying fewer name brands. The article is the usual NYT hysterical nonsense with this irresponsible and asinine quote from "retail consultant" (i.e. "giant money furnace") Burt Flickinger:

“It hasn’t gotten to human food mixed with pet food yet but it is certainly headed in that direction.”

I dunno Burt, I dunno. There's no doubt we might be in the midst of a recession (which are cyclical and unavoidable) but I have a hard time accepting all the doom and gloom. While I'm sure there are people struggling to make ends meet like there always are all this catastrophic lingo just doesn't compute when I see the vast prosperity surrounding us—even our cheap crap is better than ever.

Heck, a little economic turbulence might be a good thing if it gets more people to prioritize in their budgeting and save a little bit more. If money is tight just keep in mind that despite what TV says you don't need a 52" HDTV, $5 light bulbs, and organic lettuce—you really don't.

For informed political opinion try this guy!

2008-04-27T01:07:00.004-05:00

He sort of looks like a cross between Kevin Spacey and Norm MacDonald (beware of some salty language):

I hope you enjoyed that as much as Scott & the "Corkmeister" did.

Oh, and who knew Antarctica was a country!

We're talking Gorilla, we're not talking Godzilla

2008-04-25T13:04:00.005-05:00

I can't believe somebody actually took the time to digitize this but they did: The Kid Stuff Donkey Kong LP.

This album had a huge influence on me—although Mario purists may balk as it portrays the future hero of the Mushroom Kingdom not as a plumber or construction worker but as a "Food Delivery Man" (this is most definitely not G-Level Canon).

As hokey as it all may be I'd still rather listen to this than just about any Prince album (who I actually think may provide background vocals on the title track). Plus Mario kind of sounds like Lindsey the bass player.

Thank God for the Internet and it's ability to preserve all manner of worthless pop culture swag!

Update: This album is hosted on what may be the greatest website ever: The Secret Cavern of Read Along Treasures. Man, I used to love those things. This could probably occupy a whole weekend for me.

Just in time for summer

2008-04-21T23:43:00.003-05:00

Hey kids! Be the envy of everyone on your block and take your SuperSoaker® battles to a whole new level with one of these babies:

How true it is

2008-04-20T02:41:00.001-05:00

George Lucas on whiny fanboys and Indy 4:

"We're not gonna have adoring fans sending us e-mails saying how much they loved the movie. We're gonna have a bunch of angry people saying, 'You're a bunch of a**holes, you should never have done this. You've ruined my life forever.'"

Shout to the Lord

2008-04-11T22:21:00.006-05:00

In honor of the American Idols inexplicably singing "Shout to the Lord" a few nights back (and in the process bringing back all sorts of horrifying youth group memories I thought I'd long since repressed) I thought I'd take a little poll:

It's Choose Your Favorite "Shout to the Lord" BodyWorship™®:

First the kids from the RWC Peru Missions give us their Spanish (or maybe Quechua?) rendition:

Next we have the kids from the "KFC Youth Group" (the Colonel loves Jesus!) with their version (which reminds me of that one scene in "Napoleon Dynamite" for some reason):

And finally it's the youth from New Covenant Reformed Church in Oradell, NJ (which apparently has a rather sizable Asian-American community):

Alright folks leave your votes in the comment section:

Peru
KFC
NCRC

The awesome fort I just helped build

2008-04-05T19:31:00.001-05:00

The awesome fort I just helped build
Originally uploaded by darthvedder81

Dock Brackets

2008-04-03T17:00:00.004-05:00

This showed up in my inbox this morning (click to enlarge):

I don't have any recollection of this transaction but apparently I ordered the wrong dock brackets. Everyone knows the H17g's come with the standard 1 1/4" ID pipes. I don't know what I was thinking!

"Unknown compelling force"

2008-03-27T15:49:00.003-05:00

It takes quite to a bit to creep me out but this did the trick. It's the "Dyatlov Pass Accident" and it's truly one of the most bizarre "unsolved mystery" cases I've ever heard of (and don't read this before you go to bed):

The famously eerie tale of nine dead Russian hikers

Here's the Wikipedia entry on the case.

He's about 9% short

2008-03-25T16:18:00.004-05:00

If he's really the good evangelical he claims he is:

Obamas donated less than 1% of their income

It's like I've said all along: Liberals are stingy (unless it's your money they're giving away).

The Grapple™ = Why?

2008-03-17T12:24:00.006-05:00

Ladies and gentlemen may I introduce to you the Grapple™.

It's an apple that tastes like a grape. Or as the official website puts it:

Imagine the sweet distinctive flavor of Concord grapes combined with the crispness of a fresh, juicy Washington Extra Fancy apple.

I've actually eaten one of these before and while it wasn't bad it did raise an important question in my mind: Why?

Were people really crying out for this? Was there a focus group done someplace where a bunch of people between the ages of 18-45 said "We like the grape. We like the Apple. Let's combine these two awesome forces into one almighty fruit." Is that how this happened? Or (like the above blurb) did somebody just "imagine" this.

One wonders if this might lead to a series of "things that are kind of like other somewhat different things".

Imagine a steak that tastes exactly like a chicken! Or a walnut that looks, smells and tastes exactly like an almond! What about a baseball that looks, feels, and is made from the same materials as a regulation bowling ball?

This is terrific

2008-03-15T00:03:00.005-05:00

I'm not exactly sure where whoever wrote this is coming from but I still got a kick out of it:

Knowing what's best for poor people

Even with generous helpings of government assistance the average lower-class American would not have the funds (much less desire) to live the über-hip Bohemian lifestyle the left tries to impose on them.

Three Little Words

2008-03-03T13:22:00.000-06:00

Hooray for squirrels

2008-02-28T17:07:00.006-06:00

I was going to blog my thoughts on the new gas tax and how it might impact our states economy but then I thought: "People don't want to read about that. They'd rather see a picture of a reposing freeze-dried squirrel!" Well I aim to please!

Reposing, freeze-dried squirrel.

On a related note, be sure to check out the National Flying Squirrel Association. They have a wealth of ideas on the breeding and raising of flying squirrels as well as the kind of information you could put to use everyday: Wild or hand raised squirrels? How do I combat the effects of Metabolic Bone Disease? How can I make a usable nest box out of household items? and other practical advice. They are really doing the Lord's work.

Bud the Flying Squirrel says:
"Sugar Gliders can go to hell!"

Some light reading

2008-02-22T16:15:00.001-06:00

Some light reading
Originally uploaded by darthvedder81

What's the deal with this guy?

2008-02-22T12:06:00.004-06:00

Apparently he's leaving the Blogger, uh, company? and they are paying tribute by going ahead and plastering his face on my Dashboard. He seems like a nice guy but I wish he would have given me some advance notice (I could have picked up some snacks or something.)

It has arrived!

2008-02-21T16:40:00.001-06:00

It has arrived!
Originally uploaded by darthvedder81

Because nothing says "communist revolutionary" like an Adidas® tracksuit

2008-02-19T15:15:00.005-06:00

It's hard to be a communist these days. With that most wicked of all the Marxist socioeconomic systems relegated to a only a few disparate locations (Cuba, North Korea, Berkeley CA) a guy like Castro just doesn't have much pull anymore. Maybe that's why he's locking the humidor, hanging up that stupid hat and calling it a night.

As for commie twit figurehead of the next generation? I nominate this guy.

Bosom Buddy

2008-02-18T22:05:00.006-06:00

Peter Scolari just wanted to inform you that even though it's been a while since you last heard from him he is, in fact, still around.

He also wanted to say that if you have any light yard work to do or rooms that need painting he'd be more than happy to help out with that—or maybe you'd just like to grab coffee sometime?

No big deal either way just let him know.

With apologies to Sojo.net

2008-02-17T01:54:00.001-06:00

"The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of the fool to the left."
-Ecclesiastes 10:2

A blog for all seasons

2008-02-14T11:56:00.005-06:00

I've sort of grown out of the whole MST3k/RiffTrax/Talking during movies thing but I have to admit that Bill Corbett, Kevin Murphy and Mike Nelson (who is getting older and grumpier) have a pretty entertaining blog over at blog.rifftrax.com.

They talk an awful lot about bacon there too (and that's never a bad thing).

In the meantime enjoy this humorous photo of an Emperor Tamarin that I found on their website. He looks like Rollie Fingers!

Indy's back

2008-02-14T09:06:00.001-06:00

Indiana Jones and the Glories of Quicktime HD

Done deal

2008-02-01T21:55:00.000-06:00

So Santana walks for an extra $1.5 mil a year?

The Mets just gave him a 7-year $150.75 million deal but the Twins offered him 4-years/$80 mil last November. Granted the Mets are also throwing in a $7 million signing bonus but will those extra 3 years of "security" and $1.5 million dollars really end up being that important?

It's insane to offer ANY pitcher that kind of money. Pitchers (especially starters) don't play often enough to warrant it and are traditionally the most injury-prone players on the field. It's a risky move that only a big-market, swimming-in-cash team like the Mets would be dumb enough to make.

The Twins were wise to let him go but I would have liked to get at least one actual, major-league ready player for the best pitcher in baseball.

Headed for Tosche station?

2008-01-24T10:26:00.000-06:00

Looks like he's swinging a Gaffi stick to me.

The sandpeople are easily startled—but they'll soon be back—and in greater numbers...

So far so good

2008-01-19T00:25:00.001-06:00

I just finished watching the first two episodes of The Sarah Connor Chronicles. If you're at all a fan of the Terminator movies (especially T2) or just sci-fi action in general you should give this show a try. The pilot is currently available on iTunes for free.

I'd say things are off to a promising start. The show takes place shortly after the events of T2 and largely ignores the implications of T3 (no arguments here).
The "good" terminator is a teenage girl and obviously not played by Schwarzenegger.
I wasn't sure about that at first but it could actually make for some interesting robot/human drama provided the show doesn't get canceled before it has a real chance to catch on. We all know how Fox can be sometimes.

The first two episodes are pretty action packed so it'll be interesting to see if they can keep the pace up.

Don't tase me, bro

2008-01-16T10:31:00.000-06:00

Looks like TonyJ has taken another swing at the Piper. He's of course referencing Piper's statement on the bridge collapse. I don't know what Tony's big problem is (okay, maybe I do). I thought Piper wrote a thoughtful, theologically sound and heartfelt article. If there are things to get after Piper for—and for all I know there could be—this isn't one of them.

I can handle some of the theological tonal extremes: like the milquetoast, apolitical variety (i.e. Billy Graham) or the boorish, aggressive, hyper-reformed kind (i.e. Mark Driscoll) but I really can't stand this passive-aggressive snarkiness that Jones and his "cohorts" bring to the table.

G4 Cube part deux?

2008-01-15T15:04:00.000-06:00

Or maybe eMate 3000?

I'm not exactly sure who this is for. I hope it sells well.

And hey, the word "Mac" was actually mentioned at "Macworld"! This may be the biggest news of the entire event!

Oh and for people who think SSD drives should be in all laptops take note: the 64 gig BTO on the MacBook Air costs an additional $999. Sorry folks, we're still 2-3 years away from the ubiquity of high-capacity, flash-based hard drives.

Happy Macworld Keynote Day!

2008-01-15T10:42:00.001-06:00

I hope Steve talks about the Macintosh this year...

That's no ordinary rabbit

2008-01-07T16:43:00.000-06:00

How have I not seen this yet? And needless to say it's in the NetFlix queue.

Accept no substitutes

2007-12-13T13:23:00.000-06:00

I mean really what's next? Some dumb band of emo-kids calling themselves PJFC?

"Cedar Avenue" at The Varsity (they are even from Minneapolis—As Aaron would say: the bastards!)

"Half Mast" interview

Buy me stuff

2007-12-03T16:15:00.000-06:00

Okay here's what you've all been waiting for:

My 2007 Christmas Wishlist

This list is by no means exhaustive (sadly, Amazon.com does not trade in RPG-29's) but it's a start.

This is just wrong

2007-11-29T10:33:00.001-06:00

Good riddance

2007-11-23T13:22:00.000-06:00

"They told me, 'Look, we want you to be our center fielder,'" Hunter said. "And they gave me an amount of money that my momma and all my friends would have slapped me if I turned it down."

You gotta love those "small-market" Anaheim Angels. I'm not worried though—we've got ~~Rondell White part II~~ Craig Monroe!

Return of the "Wish Book"

2007-11-14T10:08:00.000-06:00

After 14 years Sears it looks like Sears is bringing back the "Wish Book."

I really couldn't be happier about this.

I won't go into too much detail since I already waxed nostalgic on the thing a couple years ago, but I will say that it's great to see the "Wish Book" making a comeback albeit in a greatly truncated (188 pages instead of 1,978,472) form. There's just something about a real, hold-it-in-your hands catalog that an online experience can't duplicate.

God stuff

2007-11-13T10:30:00.000-06:00

I just got done watching this fascinating debate between avowed "new" atheist Christopher Hitchens (who I spoke of here) and Dinesh D'Souza. A highly entertaining and spirited confrontation to say the least as both men are equally brilliant (though Hitchens loses some points for dominating the "question and answer" time and just generally undermining his own philosophy by being such a curmudgeon).

What I liked about D'Souza was his appeal to reason and rational thought in his defense of both Christianity and the existence of God in general. Many "apologists" make the mistake of arguing only in the spiritual plane and do nothing more than quote Bible verses. This is not very convincing when you are sparring with someone who doesn't accept the Bible as anything more than a book.

I also found Hitchens idea of morality and order being impressed on human beings by "reason" and not by the threat of reprisal intriguing. I wonder how that jives with his current pro-Iraq war position.

The Landlord

2007-10-31T12:36:00.000-05:00

Just a warning—some of the language makes this a "PG-13" but it's just too funny not to share:

May the gourds be with you

2007-10-29T22:58:00.002-05:00

Ladies and gentlemen, my bad-arse Mandalorian pumpkin:

These are still great

2007-10-16T12:11:00.000-05:00

From AirToons:

You have got to be kidding me

2007-10-12T15:00:00.000-05:00

"!elppA niur lliw I"
Gore wins peace prize

What I want to know is how crusading to end "global warming" does anything for the cause of peace. I find the linking between potential civil war and terrorism over scarce resources to be tenuous and pandering at best.

The Nobel Peace Prize has long been a joke. If a terrorist bastard like Yasser Arafat could win one (1994) why can't Al Gore?

Looks like Damian Thompson at the London Telegraph is wondering about the same things I am.

"Wicker Man" comedy trailer

2007-10-12T13:30:00.000-05:00

An iPod comparison

2007-10-08T22:44:00.000-05:00

Well after 5+ years I've finally retired the ol' 1G iPod in favor of one of these.

Just kidding!

I actually picked up a 80 gig iPod Classic and so far I'm pretty impressed. The screen looks fantastic, the "cover flow" works a lot better now that they've updated the iPod software and I can even play Ms.Pac-Man on the thing.

It's amazing how far things have come in just 6 years:

I'm still not exactly sure how they fit a hard drive in there:

And for no reason at all here's my new iPod next to the original Game Boy:

I entertained the notion of going with an iPod Touch but since I'm already on AT&T in seems dumb not to eventually get an iPhone. I'm going to hold out until a 16 gig version but in the meantime the Classic leaves me very impressed.

Par for the course

2007-10-04T10:31:00.000-05:00

Microsoft never ceases to amaze. They've just announced new "flash" based Zunes in 4 and 8 gig capacity for $149 and $199 respectively and released an 80 gig Zune for $249. They've also added "touch controls" to the new Zunes. Hmmm. If it weren't for their long, sad history of ripping off Apple (and other companies) this would be a surprise. Even their terminology is awkward and ridiculous ("Can I squirt to your Zune?"). Don't get me wrong—I love me some free-market competition—but let's actually compete and not just outright steal features and price points.

The Zune is actually the best non-iPod music player out there—which really isn't saying a lot once you've seen all the competition, a trail of digital tears it is. It's amazing that after six years no one has even come close to the simplicity and intuitiveness of the iPod. Sure there are other "devices" that can do more things but I'd rather buy something I can actually use.

It's not just a fad folks, the iPod really is the best digital music player out there (but if you buy one and don't eventually plan on getting a Mac I will slap you).

This blog entry is certified to be 86% as interesting as the Wikipedia entry for Scott Weinger.

Go Rockies?

2007-09-28T11:08:00.001-05:00

With our beloved Twins not heading to the postseason this year (and probably not for another 3-5 years) one must find another team to root for.

How about the Colorado Rockies?

They've come out of nowhere to win 11 straight and pull with in 2 games of the NL West and just 1 game of the Wild Card. For a mid-market team that few people thought would go anywhere this year that's pretty good. Matt Holliday is having a killer season and they even have former Twins like Mark Redman, LaTroy Hawkins and Ramon Ortiz on their squad.

Here's hoping for a Cleveland/Cubs, Cleveland/Philly or Cleveland/Colorado World Series. Anything else and I'm probably not tuning in.

On the redistribution of wealth

2007-09-25T18:31:00.000-05:00

"If all the world's wealth were redistributed there would still be two kinds of people: those who would use it and replace it because they could earn the replacement, and those who would use it and then be just as poor as ever."
—Ralph Winter

Better late than never?

2007-09-24T22:19:00.000-05:00

You weren't asking for it but here it is anyway:

JB & CD Podcast episode #3

We actually recorded this more than a week ago so I apologize for the untimeliness (that's a word right?)

WARNING: This picture will make you fall over with it's adorableness

2007-09-17T22:21:00.001-05:00

Pagitt on Yoga

2007-09-14T01:07:00.000-05:00

Pagitt is just being Pagitt here. Nothing terribly exciting. I thought McArthur was pretty evenhanded (Yoga = Exercise OK, Yoga = Spiritual practice not so OK). There's the usual firestorm going on on Pagitt's blog, my favorite comment being this one:

Thanks Doug for giving us another reason to preach against emergent theology. I'll add it to the long list.

Revisiting dumb lyrics

2007-09-12T23:42:00.000-05:00

Oh John Mayer how I loathe thee. Is it your hook-laden vacuous songwriting? Your almost impossibly dopey face? Your reputation as a soulful poet? Ixnay on the last one. No amount of dating Jessica Simpson's is going to convince me that you aren't just feigning an aura of faux sensitivity to score with the ladies.

"Oh but he's such a great guitar player..."

Oh please. Do the majority of John Mayer fans listen to him for his great guitar work? I mean if that were truly the case wouldn't we be seeing a lot more 17 year old girls with Django Reinhardt on their iPods? Mayer's got chops but dang if I've ever heard him use those in any of his hit songs. If you want to impress me Johnny why not spend a little less time going after Hollywood starlets while thinking up filthy things to sing and a little more time—oh I don't know—playing your guitar?

Anyway the point here isn't to rag on John Mayer the man all day long (but boy was that fun!) rather we're here to examine his very dumb lyrics.

Your Body Is A Wonderland
(this song would be more dirty if I wasn't so distracted by how lame it really is)

We got the afternoon
You got this room for two

Yeah I thought we could maybe order Fantastic Four 2 on the SpectraVision and raid the mini-bar!

One thing I've left to do
Discover me
Discovering you

Uh, I don't think that's really necessary.

One mile to every inch of
Your skin like porcelain

Well I have been exfoliating. Thanks for noticing!

One pair of candy lips and
Your bubblegum tongue

Please refrain from chewing on my tongue.

And if you want love
We'll make it
Swim in a deep sea
Of blankets

A sea of blankets? What did a JoAnn Fabrics tanker run aground?

Take all your big plans
And break 'em
This is bound to be awhile

I really hope not.

Your body is a wonderland
Your body is a wonder (I'll use my hands)
Your body is a wonderland

I guess the parenthesis make it okay?!?

Something 'bout the way the hair falls in your face
I love the shape you take when crawling towards the pillowcase

Yeah whatever you creepy, baggy-eyed goon!

You tell me where to go and
Though I might leave to find it
I'll never let your head hit the bed
Without my hand behind it

Do you really want to leave your hand behind my head as I fall asleep? How will you be able to get up in the middle of the night to write another horrible, horrible song without waking me?

Damn baby
You frustrate me

Whoa, are you Barry White all of a sudden?

I know you're mine all mine all mine But you look so good it hurts sometimes

Don't tell me—that came right out of your Junior High poetry notebook?

Da da dup ba da da da
Ba ba dup ba la la la
Ba ba dup ba ba da da
Ba ba dup ba da da da
Ba ba dup ba ba da da
Ba ba dup ba da da da
Ba ba dup ba ba da da
Ba ba dup ba da da da

Wow, this is the most intelligent thing you've said so far.

In conclusion this a very bad song. I know he's allegedly your hero but I think I would have rather listened to Steve Ray Vaughan tune his guitar than this.

Houston we have a title

2007-09-09T22:33:00.001-05:00

JB & CD Podcast Episode 2

2007-09-06T00:25:00.000-05:00

I've finally posted episode number 2 of the JB & CD Podcast. We actually recorded it last friday night but I've been wrestling with iWeb trying to get the "enhanced" version to publish. I think I finally got it working so if you've have an AAC compatible device (basically iTunes or an iPod) check it out. Oooooh pictures!

You can also subscribe to the feed through iTunes (which I'd highly recommend).

Kind of a dull episode this time I realize but hey—we're still trying to figure this all out.

Forget the iPhone!

2007-09-05T16:16:00.001-05:00

I've been crying out for an iPod with true PDA functionality for some time now. I'm also somewhat surprised Apple has crammed as much into this thing as they have. With built-in Wi-Fi/Web browsing, YouTube, contacts, calendars, videos and photos it's essentially an iPhone sans-phone. I guess by reducing the price of the iPhone substantially (boy is that going to tick some people off and delight others) they don't see the iPod touch eroding that market too much. I'm also liking all the blank space in the middle of the screen—hopefully that means even cooler features down the road.

Needless to say the 16 gig model will be my next iPod—I'd say it's about time to upgrade from my current 1st generation version.